“My blog exists to remind single parents (and anyone else!) to live the best version of themselves possible”
- Acknowledge and overcome childhood and/or adult trauma(s)
We all have things in our past we would like to forget. Things we hide away in the deepest, darkest parts of our psyche. Things we hope no one ever finds out because, if they do, we fear they may look at us differently. Judge us. Pity us. Think less of us. I used to feel this way. That I had to keep my scars a secret so people wouldn’t find out how broken I really was inside.
At some point (not quite sure when) I came to the conclusion that how people react to my past trauma is not a reflection of me. More importantly I learned that in order for me to HEAL (an ongoing process), I had to break out of my own self-imposed prison, and seek help in dealing with all of my issues: Childhood trauma, depression, self harm, self hate, countless suicide attempts, mental health crises, date rapes (one of which resulted in the conception of my son), homelessness, domestic violence, poverty….You get the picture, right? But my story doesn’t end there….
One thing I have learned in my 35 years on this planet is that we humans are resilient. We can survive so much more than we give ourselves credit for. There is light at the end of every tunnel. You just have to decide to keep digging.
- Discuss ways to improve mental & emotional health
When I decided to seek help, I had no idea it would result in nearly 16 years of therapy! But trust me when I say, I am a MUCH better person for it. I had to learn basic coping skills, like not having a meltdown when I got a flat tire. I had to learn to be resourceful in ways I never could have imagined.
Especially in the African American community, going to therapy or using medication is STILL frowned upon. Like, your considered not strong enough or not brave enough, or just plain lazy. But, I’m here to tell you that that, too, is a lie. Going to therapy and/or using medication, is one of the bravest things you can do for yourself. It is a sign of strength and courage. If you’re at this point you should pat yourself on the back and be very proud of yourself.
- Share struggles of single parenthood and raising kids ALONE
Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would be a single mom and definitely not for (almost) 16 years! To say “it hasn’t been easy” would be an understatement. Being a parent is a hard job but being a single parent is nearly impossible. I’d love to tell you, “it gets better”, but the truth is, it’s an ongoing battle. Some days I feel like I’m at war with two countries who are also at war with themselves.
I don’t have all the answers, in fact I have very few. But maybe, in sharing my ups and downs you can feel like you’re not actually as alone as you think you are. Maybe we can unite in the idea that we’re all trying to do our very best. Were all trying to prepare our kids for the ‘real world’ as best as we know how. Who knows, maybe you know something that can help me out along the way!
- Help single parents to change their mindset (aka “think positive”)in order to attract the life they want
I used to be such a negative person. Not intentionally of course, but every time something bad happened, I would wallow in self pity for days,weeks, months even. I would subconsciously dwell on negative events. Things that had happened, things that could happen. And then, of course…they.did.actually.happen. Time and time again. I knew I had to break out of this cycle but I had no clue as to how.
Then, two years ago, I discovered The Law of Attraction and let me tell you, my life has NEVER been the same. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done…but it IS worth it to keep trying!
- Share my domestic & international travel experiences
So, I acknowledged I needed help, I did the therapy, I changed my mindset, even somehow managed to bag 3 degrees. I was ‘fixed’ right? WRONG!!! Somehow I still felt like something was missing. I wasn’t happy at work. Didn’t feel satisfied with my life in any way.
So, I started doing research (aka binge watching YouTube videos) and in 2018 I learned two new words: Digital Nomad
Completely changed my life! So, I did more research (this time adding books and blogs to the mix) and found a host of regular people (see: Not rich!) just like me (yes, even single moms) who were traveling all over the world, exploring, learning, LIVING! And they were creating an income, a whole life style for themselves, all from their computers and smartphones. I was blown away!! And after an initial failed attempt in 2019, I started off on my own adventure just 2 months ago, of traveling the world full time.with.kids.
Stay tuned… Also, check out my youtube @ yoadriennie
Conclusion
I want to be clear about this blog. I’m not trying to be anybody’s SHEro. I’m not trying to be applauded for being candid about my past/present. Nothing I say is intended to be medical/mental health expert advice. I’m not selling anything! This is a space for me to unload all of my past lives. Possibly some anecdotal tidbits along the way…They say all of us has a “book” inside of us, and if this is so, I want to be the author of mines. Consider it an autobiographical account of my life. A jump start on my memoirs.
Thank you for reading and embarking on this journey with me.